


they say in heaven, love comes first

by orphan_account



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, M/M, Myra but Make Her Nice Myra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 09:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20637092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based off of San Junipero.





	they say in heaven, love comes first

Loud. It's loud. That's the first thing Eddie notices. The lights of Derry Lane are, despite beautiful, bright. He hears Belinda Carlisle on the radio of a car nearby, and he can't help but smile at the reminder of his youth, dancing to any song that came on the radio in his bedroom, his mom's fist banging at the door, telling him that it was past his bedtime, that he needed his rest. 

"Jesus, Dar, let it go." A voice snaps him out of his daydream, and his eyes are drawn to the man walking across the street.  
He has his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and he's being followed by a girl with a jacket that consists of the highest shoulder pads he's ever seen.

"Rich, there's like, two hours left, we can't waste time."  
  
She squeaks, almost tripping on her heels as she runs behind him.  
  
"I'm not wasting it." He shoots her a smile, and his smile is all Eddie needs to understand why this girl won't leave him alone.   
  
He follows them into a club, Beverly's, and he feels completely out of place. But he's always felt out of place. He watches the boys dance, he watches the girls dance, and he watches them dance <strike></strike>_together _and wishes he could feel like them. Feel what they were feeling. Instead, he let's himself wander over to the arcade in the back corner of the room and plants himself in front of street fighter. He doesn't have to struggle to remember how to play, it all comes flooding back as he runs his fingers along the buttons.  
  
"Hey, you're good at that." Not looking up from the game, he smiles and nods.  
  
"Yeah. I am." He see's out of his peripheral that it's a girl. She's cute, but he's not interested, and he curses at himself internally as he loses, and the game powers down.  
  
"Wanna play chaser?" he turns, and she's pointing at a car game. He considers it, but when the car on screen crashes, and the game screeches out a sound so similar to something he's heard before, a panic washes over him and he takes a step back.  
  
"Uh, No, i gotta take a breather." She nods, and she's saying something as he walks away, but he doesn't pay it any mind.  
  
He pushes through the crowd of people, and he orders a coke. He's never had a drink before, and he tries so hard to convince himself that it isn't because he's been conditioned his whole life to be a good boy and to listen to his mother.   
  
"Go along with whatever i say."  
  
Suddenly, the boy with the smile is sitting besides him, brushing his curly hair out of his face.  
  
"What?" He asks, putting his drink down and looking at the taller boy.  
  
"Just go along with whatever i say."  
  
And then she's bounding over with her six inch heels and curly hair, a pleading look on her face. 

"Am i gonna have to red light you, Darlene?" He asks her, and she crosses her arms across her chest, stomping her foot.  
  
"Richie, come on. We've got like, an hour now. Stop running from me." She's about to take a seat, but she turns her attention to Eddie, who straightens up.  
  
"Darlene, i'm hanging out with an old friend." Richie leans towards her, his voice lowers and Eddie hears him tell her,  
  
"He's only got like, 3 months to live, man."  
  
Eddie laughs on the inside, but he keeps a straight face when he tells her, no, it's actually two months. And he basks in the look Richie gives him, he can see the thanks in his eyes. His big beautiful -  
  
"Fine, but find me when you get back." She goes to walk away, but takes a look back towards Eddie and says "Sorry about the dying thing." before finally leaving.

  
"Sorry about killing you off like that." Is the first thing Richie says as he turns in his seat to face Eddie, that same smile on his face once again.  
  
"The two month thing was a nice touch. I'm Richie."  
  
He holds out his hand for Eddie, who takes it and smiles back. "Eddie."  
  
"Eddie? Eddie Spaghetti, huh?" Richie laughs at his own nickname, but Eddie just shakes his head. 

"If that does it for you."  
  
He feels it again, the gnawing feeling that he doesn't belong there. It should be evident in the way he's dressed, the short overalls, the sweater, the converse he remembers coloring a light blue with a marker in his bedroom one night.  
  
And then there's Richie. Who stands out in his long cuffed jeans and and t shirt rolled at the sleeves, and maybe it's a cliche, but Eddie doesn't care.   
  
"She's really not that bad. We met at Penny's, but-"  
  
"Penny's?" Eddie had only been in Derry Lane for an hour and was still trying to get used the idea of a party town.  
  
"If you don't already know what Penny's is, you definitely don't wanna know." And he leaves it at that. 

"Let's get a drink." Richie takes his hand once more, and before he can respond, he's dragging him to the bar and ordering two jack and cokes, the bartender not being able to take his eyes off of Richie either. Who could blame him?   
  
"So overalls, huh?" Eddie blinks, looking down at his outfit with a shrug.  
  
"I like 'em. I wore them a lot in high school and it stuck." He can feel the other boys eyes on him, almost analyzing him, but before he can call him out on it, he speaks.  
  
"They suit you. Not many people can pull off that look, Ed's. And the blue converse, surprised the marker held up so well."  
  
They talk for a while, Richie laughs at Eddie's spluttering as he takes a long drink, forgetting that it isn't just soda in his glass. He tells Richie its his first night in Derry Lane, and Richie says he knows, he can tell. And when Girls Just Want To Have Fun starts blaring from the speakers, he asks Eddie if he wants to dance.

"I don't really dance, i look stupid." He tells him, reaching for his glass. But as expected, he's ignored and dragged towards the dance floor in the midst of all the bodies pressed together, illuminated by the pink and blue flashing lights.  
  
Dancing with Richie, you're almost always going to be the center of attention. Because Richie's tall and beautiful, and he can feel the music like no one else around him can.  
So when he moves, you want to stop and stare at the way he laughs, the way he throws his head back with his eyes closed and mouths along to the words.  
And in the middle of it all, he reaches for Eddie's hands, and soon Eddie's laughing more than he's ever done before in his life, he's jumping around to one of his favorite songs, and he so wishes that it never has to end. But he also can't ignore the feeling that everyone's watching him, and that they're closing in on him. That his palms are sweating and that he can hear his mother in his head telling him that people are going to look at him if he dresses the way he does, in those girly colors, that they're going to think he's a-  
  
He shakes his head, ripping his hands away from Richie's and stumbling backwards, until he finds the side door and shoves his way outside, into the alley and into the rain.   
  
He wraps his arms around himself, to both shield himself from the cold and to comfort himself. He almost wants to feel for his inhaler, but he stops himself. He can't go backwards.  
  
"Hey, what'd you run away for?" Richie's walking out of the side door, wiping his glasses as the rain drips down his hair and his face.

"Sorry, i- i don't really dance." He stutters out, his breathing getting slower and back on track as he hears Richie laugh, "Yeah, no shit, Ed's."   
  
"How do you do that?" Eddie asks him, finally letting his eyes meet Richie's, and he's looking back down at him with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Do what?"   
  
"Just... be the way you are? Dancing like that. Holding my hands. Everyone was, y'know, looking at us. Two guys. Dancing together."  
  
Eddie hates that he says it with such fear and worry in his voice, but he cant remember a time when he wasn't afraid.  
  
"Oh. Well, first of all, it's the 80's and people don't give that much of a shit anymore. And second of all, Derry Lanes a party town, they know what they're in for around here. No judgement around these parts, Ed's."  
  
His words are a bit of comfort to Eddie, who nods but he stays put with his arms wrapped around himself tightly, his sleeves almost a little too long for his short arms.  
  
"And besides, if they're looking, it's because i'm smoking." And with that, Richie strikes a pose, flexing his almost nonexistent muscles with a look on his face that Eddie can't help but laugh at.  
  
"Is that so?" He asks, stepping back to take a seat on the bench just nearby the door.  
  
"What, you can't tell?" Richie kisses his bicep, before he's taking a seat besides Eddie and staring up at the no longer clear sky.  
  
"I've never actually been to a club. Or danced like that." Eddie says after a moment of silence, and Richie turns to him,   
  
"What, never? That's a pretty sheltered existence, man, what do you do?" He shrugs, knowing that there was no way he was about to tell him what he was like in the real world.

  
"I just kind of exist. My mom was pretty strict, back when i was, well, this age. No drinking, no going out, no friends over."  
  
He can tell that Richie pities him, and that he's most likely feeling sorry for him, and he hates that.  
But if he is pitying him, and he is feeling sorry for him, he doesn't say so. Instead he says,  
  
"Well, you're here. And you're that age again. So what do _you _wanna do, Ed's?" Eddie looks around, and takes in the flashing lights, the rain dripping down off of every building and let's out a long sigh. 

  
"So many things." is all he can manage to get out, the list in his head was never ending and there was no way he was about to bother someone he'd met a little less than an hour ago with it.

"Derry Lane is a party town. Everything up for grabs, right?" Richie says, and he's leaning in towards Eddie with an expression on his face that Eddie can't quite read, but knows that it's more than he's used to. Then Richie's whispering, so close to his lips,

"Why waste time sitting here?"  
  
But Eddie can feel the panic setting in again, and as much as he wants to let himself have this, he couldn't. He jumps up from the bench, and takes a step back.  
  
"I- I'm engaged, actually. Her name's Myra." He tells Richie, whose now standing as well, with a confused look on his face.  
  
"Okay. And where is she right now?" He takes a step towards Eddie once more, and Eddie wants so badly to take his hand again, but he doesn't. Instead he says,  
  
"She's, i don't know,-"  
  
"Elsewhere. Right?" and Eddie nods, he can't argue with that. Because whatever this was, this reality, the one thing he knew for sure was that Myra was far away from it.

"We could go back to my place." Richie suggests, but Eddie just lets out a small laugh, and he shakes his head.  
  
"I've never, like, done that. With a guy." His face is red, and suddenly he wants to be swallowed up by the ground whole for having just admitted that to the most beautiful man he's ever seen. But all Richie says is,

"All the more reason, right?" And maybe, just maybe, there's a big part of Eddie who for the first time, wants to ignore the voices in his head telling him that he can't, he shouldn't, what would people think?  
  
"I can't. I've gotta go." He tells Richie before he starts to walk away, a hand over his head to shield himself ever so slightly from the pouring rain. He hears a quiet goodbye as he leaves, almost wanting to rethink his decision.

Suddenly, realization hits him, and he looks down at his watch- midnight. And when he turns back around, Richie's gone. 

One week later, Eddie's walking back into Beverly's, feeling slightly more confident with his blue jeans on, but the same soft sweater clings to him and comforts him in a way he can't explain. His fingers play with the ends of his sleeve as he looks around, and immediately he spots him. Richie. And he sees him too.  
  
But he's with someone, another girl that he doesn't recognize. They're on the dance floor, and Richie's eyes leave Eddie's after a few seconds to focus on the girl in front of him.  
  
Eddie thinks to himself as he turns, goes to sit at a booth and throws back a jack and coke, that he can't be mad. He turned him down, and he was bound to find someone else. Someone more beautiful, more experienced. 

He watches the way they sit together, the girl, she's bold. She laughs loudly, she touches his arm every few seconds, hangs on to every move he makes.  
But Richie just holds his glass in his hand, like he isn't even aware of the girl to the left of him.  
And when he stands up to walk towards the bathroom, Eddie follows behind him.  
  
He pushes the door open, and Richie glances at him in the mirror, before he leans back down to splash his face with water.  
Eddie waits for the last person to leave the bathroom before he finally speaks.   
  
"I don't know how to do this." And Richie's eyes meet his again in the mirror. "Do what?"  
  
"Would you- Would you just help me? Just, make this easy for me. Please, Rich." He doesn't mean to come off as pleading, but there's no doubt Richie can see it in his eyes.  
  
So he stands up straight, turning to Eddie, and slowly he reaches forward to brush a piece of hair out of Eddie's face.  
  
But his hand lingers on his cheek as he asks if Eddie want's to go to his car. So he does.   
  
"How long have you been here?" Eddie yells over the loudness of Richie's car as he speeds down the long and winding road, Richie's curls blowing in the wind. Eddie's surprised he can even see.  
  
"In Derry Lane? A few months." He tells him, taking his eyes off the road to look at Eddie.  
  
"You okay?" and Eddie smiles, because yeah, surprisingly, he is.  
  
But he only manages to nod before a truck is barreling towards them, horn blaring and they both scream as Richie tears to the left, jumping on the breaks as soon as they hit the sand.   
  
Eddie takes a moment to breathe, he wants to yell at Richie for not watching the road, but instead Richie's smiling.  
  
"Man, i'm sorry for laughing, but you should see your fucking face." And soon they're both laughing, Eddie swears and reaches over to gently slap Richie over the head.   
  
Richie's place is on the beach, under the darkest sky he's ever seen, and Eddie never wants to leave. Not when they're standing at the window, staring out at the ocean.  
Not when Richie kisses him on the cheek, his lips, his neck. And not when they're between the sheets and Eddie realizes what he's been missing his entire life. That he could ever feel so good and so wanted all at once. He wants to say so much when he feels Richie's hands on him, fingers running down his spine, grasping at his thighs, but he can only moan and let his hands tighten their grip on Richie's curls.   
  
"So you've never been with a guy?" Richie asks him later that night. They're laying in the dark, the moonlight the only thing allowing Eddie to see the man in front of him.   
  
"That wasn't like, criticism or anything, it was fucking awesome." He adds quickly with a chuckle, laying his head back down on the pillow to look at Eddie as he shakes his head.   
  
"No. Not with anyone actually." He admits quietly, and he watches Richie's expression change.  
  
"Guess you deflowered me." then Richie laughs, and it's music to his hears.   
  
"Deflowered you? Eddie, my love, this is not merry England."  
  
Eddie lets out a small laugh, pulling the sheets up to his chest and holding onto them as Richie just... stares.  
And despite the fact that Eddie feels he's been watched and judged his entire life, he doesn't feel any of that from him. The look in his eyes is different. And if Eddie had known any better, he could have interpreted it as love. But he also didn't think he knew love well enough to know what that looked like.  
  
"You've been in relationships though, right? Your fiance?"  
  
Eddie just shrugs, he couldn't possibly begin to explain the relationship between him and Myra. Or that if he could even call it a relationship. "It's kinda complicated."  
  
And thankfully, Richie doesn't push him about it. Just keeps his eyes on Eddie.   
  
"How did you know? That you liked guys?" His voice is almost so quiet, it comes out as a whisper. But Richie hears.  
  
"I like girls too. Y'know, equal rights and all that."  
  
For the first time since they've met, Eddie watches his expression turn serious. Richie looks around the room with a sigh before he starts talking again.   
  
"Uh, I was married. To a girl. For a long time. But even then i knew. Like, the blonde dude that delivered our pizzas. The guy at the dry cleaners. Or just men i passed on the way to work in the morning. But i never acted on it. I wouldn't. I loved her too much. And she loved me. Then one day she was gone." He goes quiet, and Eddie only just catches the flicker of sadness in his eyes, before he smiles a small smile.  
  
"So now, while i'm here, passing through, it's all about having a good time."   
  
Eddie brings his hand up to Richie's cheek, running his thumb along his bottom lip before he's leaning in to kiss him. It only lasts a few seconds, and he's pulling back at the sound coming from the alarm clock on Richie's bedside table.  
They both turn to look at the flashing of 11:59.

"Time's almost up." Richie whispers, turning back to Eddie, who tries his hardest to hide the disappointment and heaviness he feels in his chest by saying,  
  
"Can we just, lay here? Until then?"  
  
And they do. They lay close to each other, listening to each others breathing, until the clock flashes midnight, and everything fades to black.   
  
A week passes, and Eddie's back at Beverly's once again. But he waits, and he waits and Richie never shows up.  
He asks the bartender, who laughs and tells him no, he hasn't seen Richie in a while, then tells him to check out Penny's.   
  
And Eddie doesn't have to reach Penny's before he decides that he hates it. People are yelling, the building doesn't give off a vibe of freedom like Beverly's.  
It looks as if it's falling apart at the seams, just like the people dancing on the broken down dance floor, drinks being thrown all over the place.  
Why would Richie be at a place like this?  
Still, he presses forward, trying to avoid the people screaming around him, and then he sees Darlene, almost falling over in her heels, a bottle of wine in her hand.   
  
"Hey, you." She says, shoving the bottle in his direction.  
  
"I know you. The dying one, Richie's friend, right?" He nods, ignoring how broken down she looks, how her hair is a mess and her lipstick is smeared down to her chin.  
  
"Do you know where i can find him?" He asks over the loud, banging music that he can't understand why anyone would voluntarily listen to. She looks him up and down, and let's out a harsh laugh.  
  
"You too, huh? Shit."  
  
She takes a long drink from the bottle, and Eddie can't stand being there anymore. He turns to walk back out the way he came, but her hand on his shoulder stops him.  
  
"Try a different time. Here in the 80's, the 90's. Fucking, 2002 sometimes. He's worth it, right?"  
  
They both stare at each other, Eddie not knowing what he could say to make this any better. But she takes another swig, before disappearing into the sea of people on the dance floor, and he leaves. 

He tries Beverly's in 1979. He shields his ears from the Michael Jackson that blares through the speakers, and once he realizes Richie isn't there, he turns and leaves.   
  
Beverly's in 1995 is a little easier on the ears. Hand in my pocket is playing, and the people on the dance floor are loving it. He searches for a while, ending up at the pacman machine at the back of the room where the girl he met, the one who asked him to play chaser, is playing.  
  
"Hey, you again." She smiles, taking her hands off of the machine.   
  
"Wanna play?" Eddie shoots her a warm smile, but shakes his head.  
  
"Sorry, i'm looking for someone." And with that, he goes back to his search.  
  
Richie is nowhere to be seen in 1995, not even when Eddie goes to his place on the beach. He knocks for what seems like hours, but to no avail. He almost wants to cry as he sits on the sand in front of the house, staring at the ocean, hoping that maybe, somewhere, in some time, Richie's doing the same.   
  
2002 is a whirlwind. His hair is curlier, he remembers the time he let it grow out a little, wanting a change from the slicked back style that his mom had adored.  
He crosses the busy streets and enters the ever so familiar club, and to his surprise, he sees him. His long curls, his modernized glasses that frame his face even more beautifully than before.  
He's playing dance dance revolution. And when Eddie gets closer, he realizes its with the girl from before, the pacman girl, and he can't help but laugh.  
He watches as they finish, and when Richie turns around, shock replaces the big grin on his face. He steps off and away from the machine, looking Eddie up and down, who whispers out a "Hi."  
  
But Richie says nothing, and pushes past him, walking towards the dance floor.   
  
Eddie doesn't waste time following him, grasping at his arm to turn him around.  
  
"What? What are you doing here?" Richie snaps, tearing his arm away from Eddie's grasp.   
  
"Looking for you, Rich, What the hell? Where did you go?"  
  
"I wanted a change in music?" He suggests, crossing his arms over his chest and straightening up to look down at Eddie, who looks around at the people, the dancing, the music. It doesn't fit Richie at all.   
  
"How is this your era? You... You fucking hid from me. Why?" Richie rolls his eyes at the accusation, a harsh laugh escaping his lips.   
  
"Number one, i did not hide from you. Two, i owe you nothing. And three... See point two."  
  
With that, he turns and heads off towards the bathroom, leaving a hurt and confused Eddie on the dance floor. But again, he follows him. This time, he shoves past people, not caring who it is, and pushes the door to the bathroom open with all his strength.   
  
The scene is familiar, Richie bending down at the sink to splash water on his face, glancing up at Eddie in the mirror.   
  
"This isn't about you owing me anything! It's about being fucking polite. You don't know me, Rich, you don't know what this means to me."  
  
He almost stumbles on his words, he can feel the anger building up but being overtaken by the urge to burst into tears at the thought of Richie not caring about him. Not feeling what he felt.   
  
"This means fun, Eddie. Or, it's supposed to. And this, you being here and being upset, this isn't fucking fun."  
  
His voice shakes at the end, and Eddie hears it in him.  
He can hear the pain, so he isn't surprised when Richie turns and slams his fist into the mirror above the sink. And no one's surprised when he pulls his hand back, there's no blood. And that when Richie looks back into the mirror, it regenerates. The cracks are gone, and he can see himself so clearly.   
  
"You don't even feel bad? About running from me?"  
  
Eddie asks, and now his voice is wavering, and they're staring into each others eyes like they did that night, but there's tears and sadness, and you didn't have to know Richie too well to know that the one thing he did best was keep his emotions bottled up.   
  
So he says nothing. He lets Eddie keep talking.   
  
"Maybe you should. Maybe you should feel bad. Or at least, fucking feel something."  
  
He leaves before he can let himself cry. He runs outside, and this time there's not a drop of rain in sight. He doesn't know how to react, or where to go, but he doesn't want to cry in front of the people in the streets. So he finds the ladder at the side of Beverly's, and he climb to the top, onto the roof, and sits on the edge, just nearby the shining neon sign that reads BEVERLY'S.   
  
He isn't up there more than five minutes before he hears his voice again.  
  
"You better have your pain slider set to zero, Ed's, it's a long fucking drop from up here."  
  
Eddie nods, he did. He wasn't an idiot. But he also wasn't about to jump off of a building in front of everybody over a boy that didn't love him back.   
  
Richie goes to speak again, but this time Eddie cuts him off.   
  
"How many of them are dead? Like, what percentage?" He asks, nodding down to the passers by on the street, talking, laughing and kissing.  
  
"As in full timers? Uh, maybe, 80 percent. 85." He tells him, sitting down on the edge besides Eddie.   
  
"I'm sorry, Ed's." He says quietly, but Eddie isn't taking his eyes off of the people below.  
  
"It's not about you. It's... In the time that I've been here, i said i wouldn't do the whole feelings thing. You freaked me the fuck out, Eddie. I didn't come here wanting to like anybody. To love anybody. So you've been just, Totally fucking inconvenient." Richie says with a laugh, and Eddie turns to look at him. He wants to tell him so badly that he loves him, that he wants him, that he's never missed anyone so badly before. But he's not finished.  
  
"But, Ed's, i just don't know how long there is for me. And i can't. I wasn't prepared for this. For you. For wanting something-" And Eddie can't take it anymore. He surges forward and presses his lips to Richie's, his hands on his cheeks. And even when he goes to pull away, he's pulled back in.   
  
Now they're sat on the front porch of Richie's place, Eddie huddled in a blanket, and Richie smoking a cigarette besides him as they watch the waves crash into each other.  
  
"I get married next week, y'know." Eddie tells him, tightening his grip on the blanket and pulling it closer to him. Richie scoffs besides him,  
  
"To Myra? You're going through with that?" He laughs, and Eddie thinks that there hasn't been a time where he's heard Richie's loud laugh and not wanted to kiss him.  
  
But he nods, and tells him he has to.  
  
"She's not that bad. My mom hated her but what's she gonna do." He takes a beat before he rests his head on Richie's shoulder, keeping his eyes on the horizon.  
  
"I know she kinda pities me. And i fucking hate that. But that's not fair to her because she-"  
  
It surprises him when Richie shushes him, puts an arm around him and presses his lips to the top of Eddie's head, slowly and gently running his fingers up and down his back. Like he just knew Eddie was overthinking and upsetting himself.  
  
So he doesn't bring Myra up again. Instead he asks the more pressing question that's been on his mind all night.   
  
"You said you don't know how much time there is. How long there is for you. What does that mean?" Richie stiffens at the question, but keeps his arm around the smaller man, still nursing his cigarette between the fingers of his left hand.  
  
"They said about three months. That the cancers spread almost everywhere. But, hey, they said three months almost a year ago so what do doctors know, right?"  
  
He smiles a little to himself, and Eddie watches as he flicks the cigarette out of his hand and into the sand. It burns out, and Eddie brings his eyes back up to look at him.  
  
"So you'll come back here afterwards, right? and stay here?" He asks hopefully, leaning into the hand on his back. But Richie just shakes his head. Tells him no.  
  
"What? Why?"   
  
"Ellie." Richie says as he looks down, the slightest frown on his lips.   
  
"My wife, her name was Ellie. She died a few years ago. She was offered to come here, try out Derry Lane. But she didn't take it. Didn't want to."  
  
Eddie didn't understand that at all. He had never felt more free than when he'd been in Derry Lane, who wouldn't want to feel like this all the time?  
  
"Why would anyone not take it?"   
  
"She had her reasons. And she just, didn't really believe in this kinda thing. The whole afterlife aspect was kind of lost on her. There was no talking her into it."  
  
Richie stared at the ground as he spoke about her, like he was trying to remember her. But Eddie knew the memories were probably fading, yet he refrained from trying to comfort him in that moment and let him hold on to what he could remember.   
  
"I mean, i get it. When i first heard about it, i didn't really wanna do it. The idea of someone fucking around in the my head was scary. But being here... If i hadn't agreed to it, i would never have met you." Eddie smiles softly as they look at each other,  
  
"You never know, we could have met outside of here." Richie suggests, but Eddie's quick to disagree and shakes his head, looking down at the burnt out cigarette on the ground.   
  
"No way, Rich. Outside of here, you wouldn't have gotten me at all. You wouldn't have wanted to hang out with me." But Richie rolls his eyes,   
  
"You don't know that. Try me."  
  
But outside of Derry Lane, Eddie lived a life of silence and fear. He couldn't deal with the thought of being rejected by Richie if he knew what he was truly like.  
  
"Why? What's the point? Where are you, fucking, Las Vegas?" He asks, and Richie just shakes his head.  
  
"Pasadena. So try me. Where are you?" Eddie tells him Los Angeles, and Richie can't believe it. There's barely any distance between them.  
  
"But i don't want you to come. I don't want you to see me, Rich, i'm scared."  
  
"And i'm dying, Eddie. Whoever you are, whatever's wrong, can't scare me." Richie places a finger under Eddie's chin, tilting his head upwards to make sure he's looking at him.   
  
"Let me come see you. I wanna say hi."  
  
So Eddie, despite his heart racing, and the weight on his shoulders, nods. And let's Richie hold onto him until the clock strikes midnight, and darkness takes over them.   
  
A few days later, Richie let's the carer guide him, despite his complaining to the retirement facility that no, he can handle himself. He hates the feeling of his real self. His weaker self, his older self. His body aches, and his mind is going, and theres nothing he can do to stop it.   
  
"Stop rushing me, Louise, before i start slipping my pills into other peoples food again." He demands, his carer stopping with a huff.  
  
"Richie, what did we say about threatening the staff?" The driver asks as he's helped into the car, Richie waving the helping hand away.  
  
"It wasn't a threat, it was a promise." He tells them, and let's the car take him to his destination. Los Angeles Good Samaritan.   
  
"Are you Richie?" A nurse asks as he walks in, ahead of his carer, who once again is complaining that he's walking too fast for his age.  
  
"I am."   
  
"He's ready for you."  
  
she tells him with a smile, and leads them down a long hallway, full of people and families waiting for their loved ones. Full of people talking about the trial for Derry Lane, and being told they were full up right now, that they had to fit the criteria.  
  
He's brought to room 304, and his heart skips a beat when the door opens, and he walks inside to see Eddie, laying on the hospital bed. His eyes closed, a peaceful look on his face.  
  
"He won't respond, obviously. But he knows when people are here. Go ahead." She tells him, before she leaves the room. And now it's just Eddie, Richie, and Louise the carer, who won't leave his side.   
  
Richie walks towards the man, who despite looking older, still looks as beautiful as the day they met at Beverly's. He reaches down, tracing a finger along his cheek.  
  
"Hey, Ed's. Told you you wouldn't scare me."  
  
He says in a whisper, praying desperately that he'd get a witty answer. But he knew deep down that he wouldn't. He couldn't.   
  
As he's leaving, he's stopped by a woman, who asks if its him, if he's Richie.  
  
"I might be." He tells her, trying to place her in his mind. But she doesn't look familiar.   
  
"I'm Myra."  
  
"Fucking hell, you're Myra?" And she laughs, nodding her head.  
  
"I just wanted to say i think its so great that you came to see him before he passes over. His mom died recently, so he doesn't get many visitors-"  
  
Richie stops her, holding up a hand.  
  
"He's passing over? When?" Why hadn't Eddie told him? And Myra looks at him just as confused before suggesting they go sit down, get a coffee.   
  
"He really didn't tell you?" She asks once they're seated, and he shakes his head.  
  
"No, said he was just visiting." Myra looks down at her coffee, taking a sip.   
  
"More like sampling a trial run. He told you about his condition, right? How he ended up this way?" When Richie doesn't respond, she takes it as her cue to tell him.   
  
"It happened when he was 22. After he came out to his mom. She flipped out, told him he couldn't be gay, it was horrible, unnatural, so he left. Got into his car, ran it off the road and... Just never came back from it." Richie's heart clenches at the thought of it. The thought of Eddie being hurt so badly, that he was never able to experience life after that night. Life after 22.  
  
"It was almost 40 years ago now. Obviously, I've only known him a few years. We talked on the comm box. The Derry Lane System has been a really big deal to him. The biggest deal. But of course now, until he officially passes over and it goes permanent, he's on a five hour weekly limit. I'm guessing you're the same?"   
  
Richie takes a long drink of his coffee, nodding as he puts it down.  
  
"They ration it out, they don't trust us with any more than that."   
  
"I heard you can go crazy if you do it too much."  
  
"The systems supposed to be there for therapeutic reasons. Immersive nostalgia therapy or whatever it is they say. Supposed to be helping with alzheimers."   
  
They both go quiet as they drink their coffee, before Richie asks what he really wants to know. What he needs to know.   
  
"So about this marriage..." and Myra laughs quietly, looking around before she replies, lowering her voice a little.   
  
"The states got a lock down on euthanasia cases. You have to have a sign off from the doctor, the patient and the family member. It's meant to stop people from passing over just because they prefer Derry Lane to real life. And Eddie's remaining family, that's his cousin, is big into religion and won't sign off on it."   
  
Richie nods, finally understanding what Eddie meant by her not being that bad.  
  
"But a spouse overrides remaining family, huh? Hence the wedding bells."  
  
"Yep. We have a pastor coming in the morning. Then he's scheduled to pass over at noon."  
  
"Let's just call it dying, Myra. Death, Being uploaded to the clouds. Same thing."  
  
Myra tells him that she's never been married, so when she saw Eddie needed help, she couldn't refuse, so she began talking to him over the Comm box on her breaks.  
And Richie tells her she's a good person. That he's sorry for calling her names in Derry Lane. She only laughs.   
  
"Think you could hook us up to the system real quick? Before he passes over?" Myra eyes him, a weary expression on her face.   
  
"They've got security and cameras on every floor, i'm not really supposed to do it on the whim."  
  
But Richie pleads, and tells her he just needs one moment with Eddie.   
  
So she takes him to Eddie's room, sits him next to where he's laying, and attaches the button to the sides of both of their heads.  
They power up, and Richie's handed the familiar white remote control.  
  
"Five minutes." Myra warns him, and he nods before his eyes close and he presses the button.   
  
Suddenly he's back in Derry Lane. He's 21 years old. And he hears Eddie's voice outside the house, prompting him to run, across the sand until he reaches him.   
  
"I've never been here in daylight before, Rich, it's so nice." is the first thing Eddie says, a smile on his face as he watches Richie take his hands.  
  
"I gotta be quick. I met Myra." Richie tells him, and Eddie nods, a small oh escaping his lips.  
  
"You're passing over tomorrow morning?" He nods again, this time with a laugh.   
  
"Guess i'll be honeymooning in Derry Lane for the rest of my days. Could be worse, right?" Eddie asks him, barely taking any time to take in the serious look on Richie's face before he's speaking again.  
  
"I'm gonna say something really crazy, Ed's, but hear me out." And with that, he gets down on one knee, still holding on to Eddie's hands, but now he's smiling too.  
  
"Do you wanna marry me instead?"   
  
Eddie stays silent, he doesn't know what to say. Or rather, his mouth isn't letting him say anything, but Richie keeps going.   
  
"Look, Myra did a great thing for you, i get it, but wouldn't you rather marry someone who loves you? And that you love?"  
  
Eddie falls to his knees, his mouth open and still no words are coming out, but he's so close to Richie when he whispers,  
  
"You love me, right?" and he does.  
  
So he kisses him, almost too hard, because they both fall into the sand together, but it doesn't bother either of them.  
  
"Is that a yes?" Richie asks as they pull apart, both laughing, and Eddie finally speaks.  
  
"Yes."   
  
In the morning, the pastor comes, he pronounces them husband and husband.  
  
Richie kisses Eddie on the head. He initials and signs everything he's asked and they turn off Eddie's life support.  
A small wave of sadness washes over Richie at that moment, when he sees a tear drip down Eddie's cheek.  
When he realizes he's watching the man he cares so much for die.  
But he takes his hand, and he remembers that they'll be together soon enough.   
  
And when Eddie opens his eyes, he's on the beach in front of Richie's house. He's feeling the sand between his toes, and the water around his ankles and he's feeling everything he hasn't felt in almost 40 years. He smiles to himself, lays back on the sand, and waits for Richie. 

"HUSBAND!" He jolts up when he hears him, turning to see Richie standing on the hood of his car, dressed in a black tuxedo.  
He runs over, both laughing and admiring the sight before him.  
  
"Hey, you didn't dress up to see me? What's up with that?" Eddie looks down, he's in his shorts and a t shirt.  
  
"Shit, i forgot." He looks up, and wait's two seconds, before he glances back down and he's dressed in a white tuxedo, a flower at his pocket.  
  
"That's better. Put this on." Richie jumps down from the hood of the car, and hands him a ring, similar to the one already on his own hand.  
Eddie smiles, slipping the ring onto his finger and lets Richie pull him in close, kissing him gently.   
  
"Come on, hop in." He's soon driving them outside of town, both of them laughing and holding hands the entire time.  
  
And when they reach their destination, overlooking every light and every building in Derry Lane, they lay side by side on the hood of the car, Eddie's head resting on Richie's shoulder.   
  
"I love it here." Eddie tells him, breathing in the fresh air, and Richie laughs.  
  
"You've been here before, Ed's."  
  
"But now i live here! And i can... breathe. And i can feel." Richie watches him, and takes in his happiness. Takes in every word he says, every time he laughs, each time his hand brushes against his. It's something he hasn't done in a long time. A feeling he thought he'd never experience again.  
  
"Be with me. Stay with me."  
  
Eddie slides off of the hood, stands in front of Richie and takes both of his hands in his.  
  
"I am with you." Richie says with a smile, leaning closer to Eddie.  
  
"I mean when you pass over. Stay here, with me."  
  
Richie looks away from Eddie, the smile falling from his face as he pushes Eddie back gently to climb off of the car.   
  
"Ed's, i already made my decision."  
  
"But Rich, Come on. This, you and me, it's real. We're real. You married me. We could be together."  
  
At this point, Eddie feels like he's almost pleading, begging. But Richie shakes his head, not wanting to see Eddie upset, but not wanting to go through this argument again.   
  
"I'm gonna go, alright? It's almost midnight." He's about to walk back to the car, but Eddie stops him, his hand on his shoulder.   
  
"Why not, Richie? Why can't you be here with me? Because of Ellie? Because she didn't get to be here? She made that fucking choice, Rich, She could have stayed with you but she left!"  
  
Richie shoves Eddie back harshly, the other man almost stumbling over.  
  
"You don't get to fucking talk about her. You don't have the fucking right. I was with her for 35 years, Eddie, and you can't even fucking begin to imagine. You can't fucking know the bond we had. The commitment, the boredom, the yearning, the laughter, the fucking love of it. You can't fucking know that. The years i gave her and the years she gave me. You never fucking asked. Why did you never ask, Eddie?"  
  
Eddie stays a few feet from Richie, ignoring the tears dripping down his own cheeks as he watches Richie fall apart. And he wants to tell him he's sorry, so fucking sorry, but Richie isn't giving him that chance. And he sure as hell doesn't deserve it.   
  
"We had a son, y'know. Luke. Always difficult but always so fucking amazing. He died when he was 41. And when he fucking died, Ellie and i felt that heartbreak as one. So if you think you're the only person whose ever suffered, you can go fuck yourself." He goes to walk away again, Eddie pleading, grabbing at his hand.  
  
"Wait, No, please, I didn't know-"  
  
"You never asked, Eddie! Fuck, when she was dying, you know what she said? She said she couldn't come here. Not if Luke missed the chance to, how could she? So she went. And as much as i fucking want to believe that they're together right now, and that they're happy, i know they're not. I know they're nowhere. They're gone. So don't fucking give me some sales pitch about how peachy forever could be."  
  
"Richie, please, i'm fucking sorry, that's not what i meant." He still holds onto Richie's hand, so tightly, so desperately.

"Eddie, if you wanna spend forever somewhere where nothing matters? End up like Darlene and the other low life fucks that spend their days getting hammered and drugged up at Penny's, be my guest. But i'm out. I'm gone."  
  
And with that, Richie pulls away from Eddie for the last time. And this time Eddie doesn't make an attempt to stop him, he stands there, and he cries, watches as Richie climbs into his car and speeds off back in the direction they came from. But Richie's anger doesn't vanish, it sits there, in his chest, and he can feel it so heavily and so deeply as he cries, and starts to speed up. Faster and Faster until he loses control of the car and it flips.  
  
Once, twice, three times. And Richie goes headfirst into the concrete, and he curses himself for not turning his pain slider down before he came back. Because when he hits the ground, he feels it all. He feels it in his legs, his arms, his chest, his head. It takes him what feels like an eternity to roll over, and when he does, Eddie's there, and he's holding out a hand for him, dried up tears on his cheeks. But before Richie can reach out for him, apologize for being so fucking mad, the clock strikes midnight, and Eddie's left standing alone. Alone to wander down the dark road, until he finds himself back at Richie's empty house. So he curls up in his bed, and he hugs Richie's pillow close to him.   
  
Richie isn't doing too well anymore. They said three months, but like he'd said, what do they know? He feels broken down and beaten up. He can barely move without going into a coughing fit and struggling to breathe. So on a warm day, when he feels he has enough energy, he sits on the bench at the edge of a cliff with Louise, nearby the retirement home, and tells her he's ready.  
  
"Ready for what?" Richie looks down at the beach, and suddenly misses the feeling of the sand between his toes. The feel of the water around his ankles. The warmth of Eddie's hand in his.  
  
"The rest of it."   
  
So when he takes his last breath in a hospital bed, when they press the button to his head, and power up the system, when they lower his body into his grave, next to Ellie's and next to Luke's, he doesn't feel the guilt anymore. He can't feel the pain anymore. But he can feel the sand underneath his feet, and he can hear Eddie.  
  
Actually, He can hear Eddie's car pulling up to his house, Heaven Is A Place On Earth blasting on the radio, and he laughs.   
  
"Finally, it's been two hours since i got here, what were you doing?" Eddie smiles as he hops out of the car, and bounds over to Richie, wrapping his arms and legs around him as he jumps. Richie catches him, letting him kiss him for as long as he wants to. As long as he needs to.   
  
"Well, excuse me, you didn't even tell me you were coming!" Eddie says excitedly, Richie letting him down but making sure to keep his arms around his waist.  
  
"I'm here now, aren't i, my love?" And when Eddie rests his head against his chest, whispering how much he's missed him, how much he loves him, and how he'll never let him go, he knows he made the right decision. 


End file.
